The Monkey’s Rump

My other half says that, if the average cat licks its bottom for five minutes or so every day, then it spends a total of about twenty-one days across its entire lifetime with its tongue glued to its asshole. He now assures me this fact is both useful and pleasant to visualise. I disagree wholeheartedly….

I Wonder If That’s Why Cavemen Cooked Outside

(And Other Stuff I Thought About On A Train) Life’s been getting too complex for my liking recently. A new job. (A critical boss.) An irritating neighbour. (A lot of noise.) A relative fallen ill. (No one liked her anyway.) A cat-fighting problem. (They’re kittens and they haven’t learned that biting hurts yet.) To get…

Lost In A Strange World: Is Ignorance Actually Good For Us?

Reading shapes our lives. At least some of us. I first read Irène Némirovsky’s Suite Française when I was loitering on a cold bench in a dark crevice in the basement of a football museum. I felt uncomfortable, out of place and out of sorts. And it wasn’t only the futility of the museum that…

His Wild Dreams

This week, I launch ‘His Wild Dreams’, a new online portal dedicated to revealing (and unearthing possible meanings) behind my other half’s often bizarre nightly mind-stirrings. The one about our neighbour having Fear and Loathing-style lizard legs as he became a voyeur in front of an all-female crowd he hadn’t even spotted outside his car…

Believe Me: You Can Be Young, Wise and Free

The most satisfying part of being a writer is the freedom. I’m so glad I ignored the well-meaning, but flawed advice to, “stick to an ordinary job.” Of course, I earn money through a range of freelance projects, but my main priority in life is to create. ‘Ordinary’ just doesn’t fit with my values. Developing…